girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
wow bdsm is so cute
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
