We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
