Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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