he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Can I color on your dick again?
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She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize