i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My liver just had a heart attack.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
