I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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