Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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