How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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