i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
meet me or not, i'm out of control
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
