absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize