Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
