is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
