ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
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Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
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The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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