I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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