What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
