Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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