How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
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She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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