I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this just has baby written all over it
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
