He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
