Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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