btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
