But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
