omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
