It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
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Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
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Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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