i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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