if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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