But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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