ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
