My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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