Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I can tuck mytits in my pants
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
