No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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