the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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