billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We left an ass print on the piano.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
