so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize