If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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