Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
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I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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