Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
