so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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