I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize