hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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