there was a trapeze. enough said
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
