Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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