I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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