I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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