I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize