I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
