The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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