Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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