are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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