So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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