mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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