my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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