Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
