$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
MIDGETS
????
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
