escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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